by adamaphar

Being authentic intentionally is kinda hard, up there with trying to relax and attaining non-attainment. When I was training to be a chaplain, I spent a lot of time trying to relax. I knew that the key was simply to be honest, authentic person; that letting go of agenda was the only thing that was necessary, and that any care needed would flow from that state of openness.. However, the letting go of agenda itself became an agenda. When I realized that, then letting go of the agenda of letting go became the agenda. And so.

The needed motion is the same one that springs a Chinese fingertrap. Not striving, but surrendering. Setting the spirit down as one sets down a heavy book, or as one rests one’s body on the surface of the water (I’m reminded of the Dead Sea, where to not float is impossible. There’s too much salt in the water. It’s a good idea to have something Dead Sea-ish in your life – something which reliably stands in for the effort you spend in vain. Of course the Dead Sea is also terribly poisonous, so maybe I do not want to carry the metaphor too far.). It is hard, yes, but not like lifting a heavy boulder is hard; it is hard like trust is hard. The trust is that everything that we need will be given to us, if we stop trying to grab it.

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