by adamaphar

From something I was writing…

These (various types of egoism) are the things that I use to attempt to secure, preserve, or hold the self. Self-consciousness I have found to be rather pervasive; it appears as a daily and hourly buffer against an awareness of non-being. The self attempts to hold back the tide of non-being by sheer force, in the strange belief that if I keep looking at my self, then my self will not go anywhere; I will be preserved through the act of self-consciousness. It is, in that moment, an effort to be the ground of my own being. This kind of bootstrapping ultimately fails, though it may seem to be successful for some moments. Its ultimately failure is precisely why we must first lose ourselves in order to find ourselves. This must occur daily.